There are no eggs.
None in the local shop, none in Morrisons and none in Asda.
"There just aren't any," the member of staff in Asda says, looking at me like I'd just landed on Earth, and spoken as if I should have known that there aren't any eggs, haven't been any eggs for some time, and weren't likely to be any eggs ever again.
It brought about a sense of bewilderment. Where are all the eggs?
I went away without them.
That was after I found out that there was also no sweet potatoes or watermelons, both of which I could go without... but... eggs...
At least toilet roll is abundant these days. Eat your heart out 2020. In fact, there was so much toilet roll that it now takes up two aisles worth of space, and some was on special. Probably making up for the lack of eggs.
On the way out, the Asda petrol pump was displaying a sign that said "technical fault" on the card reader. It was one of those pay-at-the-pump style pumps, but then so were all the other pumps on the forecourt. Most of which were all proclaiming a technical fault.
The world doesn't feel right today. Like I'd skipped a few years and this was the new status quo - a brave new world with broken petrol pumps, and, no eggs...
Went home.
Had fish fingers and mash.
Watched 'Keeping Up appearances' on the iPlayer.
Drank Baileys with one cube of ice.
There are no eggs.
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